Because You Still Love Me
Long distance relationships is the hardest. Not that I have to compare it with but I know it needs an extra kind of honesty, faith, and communication than any other relationships. Temptation is there anywhere and all the time ready to succumb you and only the love for your partner and for one another will protect you.
Five months. That's how long we are together but most of it we were apart (physically, that is). But this is by far the hardest month in our relationship. Just before our monthsary, he told me he has to give me up. Aside from devastation, I was desperate and confused. For the first time in this relationship, I felt totally out of control, I felt defeated. I felt that lightning has struck me but for the second time.
Friends who knew about our relationship would definitely ask me why am risking on a guy who has given me up initially. I gave it a shot almost four years ago but I was never rewarded of the love I have given. I was angry, cheated and ashamed. Even to this day, I could not fathom how the anger was turned into forgiveness and then love. I took the risk again in offering the person that has left me broken several points in my life, with love. Because yes, I love him. For reasons unknown to the both of us, I love him. I am happy when we spend time together even with just sending each other mushy messages or talking till the wee hours of the morning. I cherish the times that we got to spend time together. And up to this day, I enjoy looking at our pictures. :)
He loves me still. That's good enough reason why I clung to the relationship amidst his decision to let go of me. I just could not give up something good without a fight even if it would only be me left fighting. I am holding on to our relationship because he loves me and I love him too.
I expect him to be here on the 10th. All were set even before this relationship started. Yet unfortunate things happened...new fortunate plans unfolding...old plans change. But as he is still hesitant, my hopes are unwaivered. I look forward to the week we'll be together and be a normal couple and do what normal couples do. No more phone calls for the week. No more dates in the chatroom.
But regardless of what happens on the 10th, or whether or not I have a date on V-day, I remain happy and in love.
Luv, I love you!