Monday, July 27, 2009


Today is PGMA's 9th and hopefully the last State of the Nation Address. I haven't heard of anything about the event nor the content of her speech as I arrived home and the news on SONA was already done. Today is also Iglesia Ni Cristo Anniversary Celebration. A lot of devotees have gone out to celebrate. All of these amidst the pouring rain.

Classes have been canceled in all levels even in graduate studies. And how I wished we just spent time in class than have nothing to do but go home early.

Yes, I did go home early. After doing some laboratory work in UP. I walked straight to Central to save 7Php. After that, I got stranded as jeepneys and buses going to Fairview (going to Sandigan where the SONA is) is all jampacked... to the extent that 5-6 people are clinging in the jeepney rails, just to get home.

I am, somehow, lucky. There was a Dahlia jeep.. vacant!!! It was pure blessing. I was one of the lucky few to get in and sit comfortably. But come Diliman Prep, the jeep I'm riding come to a slow procession, as heavy traffic consumed us. It was about 8PM when I reached Sandigan.

Phew! Now I'm home.. and I still didn't know what the SONA's about yet I wished it never happened today.

Monday, July 20, 2009


poster Kat and I met up with Tina to watch Fantasticks last Friday. Amidst the pouring rain and the freezing cold, we travelled the wet C5 to get to Greenbelt 1. If the tickets were not bought, I would catch the play in another day.

Choosing Work over the Bed. Wrong Choice.

I should have stayed in bed. Never wake up. Sleep for eternity.

I have thought of not reporting to work, just send a “I’m sorry” message and then lay there till my stomach churns for food. It is quite possible. I’ll just pretend to be sick and take advantage of the goodness of the old white man. But thinking of my need for coliform abundant water for our lab project made me do my early morning routine. I was late though, the usual effect of the empty reasons for going to work.

And now as I sit here in my cubicle, with Ma’am Edna absent and Frank unsure if he’s coming in, Im thinking, I should have stayed in bed!!! Right this minute, I’m thinking of how much sleep I have deprived myself in exchange of coming in to work. But at the end of it, I still need to get that damn water, and attend my class at 6PM.

Sunday, July 19, 2009


poster Kat and I met up with Tina to watch Fantasticks last Friday. Amidst the pouring rain and the freezing cold, we travelled the wet C5 to get to Greenbelt 1. If the tickets were not bought, I would catch the play on another day.

Fantasticks is the ployed Romeo and Juliet. Ployed because the fathers of Matt and Luisa, Hucklebee and Bellamy respectively, planned to be enemies in order to spark romance between their children. They have employed El Gallo and staged the kidnap of Luisa, which, in their plan will trigger Matt to rescue the victim. And the parents will make up because of the heroic deed of Matt.

But soon after the mock abduction, the children found out that it was all planned out. Matt felt like they were puppets and so he thought of leaving to prove to his father that he was at all not his toy. Luisa meanwhile was dumbstruck at awed with El Gallo, who later entrapped Luisa to hand in her most valuable piece: her mother’s necklace.

When innocence is lost, wisdom and experience are gained. That is how Fantasticks ended. The world is one of the best but the hardest teachers and it has taught greatly Matt and Luisa as they seek out and discover themselves in the real world.

The second act of the play is such a bore.

Reg: “I got bored.”

Tina: “I am sleepy.”

Kat: “I slept.”

Effects of Further Studies

I have by far got used to it. With school, my gimmick-full week-ends became a saturday spent in the laboratory and a sunday spent on chores if the group wouldn't meet up. Frustrating. I could have been in some cool place seeing and learning a lot of stuff. But I am jammed to be in a poor old laboratory experimenting on coliforms and other envi parameters we are testing on.

Can you hear my whining now?!?! Or it isn't loud enough yet?

And another thing that I have already adjusted my life to is that my vacay has to be on a weekday... yup! not possible with work around. So I'm taking advantage of no work days.. take a little vacation leaves and be the jet-setter that I am.

I'm excited for my next adventure... =)

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Learning and Relearning

Today, I learned that punctuation marks make a big deal in a sentence… especially 2 or 3 question marks or exclamation marks in it… I have been using such marks often that I tend to neglect its value. And just less than an hour ago, I was reprimanded by someone to lessen such use of consecutive punctuation marks because it felt offensive. What for me was nothing, is offensive to others. Nothing because that is how I express myself in writing. It feels like that is my gay self taking over. I can’t help but feel bad, because no justifications could support my gay self in a corporate set-up where moral and conduct is tight and upright. I have no intention of upsetting or offensively demean a person. That is just me.

When I was starting, I was never cautious with using words like po or opo. We don’t use such words of respect in our dialect so its roots are not as strong as those who are Tagalog. It is our intonation that dictates our respect and our emotions … Of course, po and opo are taught in my Filipino subject but I don’t speak Filipino back home. We only speak Filipino during class and that was basically it. Even if I have stayed here in Manila for more than 6 years before I started work, the po and opo doesn’t rub in quite easily. With that I was perceive to be disrespectful.

When I was at Taguig, I was heard by my officemates casually talk to my boss in English. Then I heard talks that they regard me as “maarte” to the point that they hate me for it. I have justified it in writing a blog, but never got to defend myself to the people, at the same time, I never got to learn who hated me for such a thing. A total first impression scenario, I don’t know if I have erased such notion or I will be forever maarte to them.

So today, like any other day that I was given the wrong impression, I am sad, depressed perhaps. But I learned my lessons, the hard way.

Friday, July 10, 2009

My debts are catching up on me.

I have acquired a credit card years ago… just yesterday, I received my bill with an annual fee on top of my purchases. It has been two years, two years of plastic purchases. I have no problems really with this plastic. With the low credit limit, I am not afraid to go on debt.

But these past few days, it seems that my debt is not decreasing… it is not that I don’t pay up my dues, but the thing is, I seem to have a lot of purchases these few months…I usually purchase my tickets online with my credit card which was so convenient. But now that travel is less because of school, the plastic just rests in my wallet, unutilized. But despite that, debts build up. And my salary isn’t catching up to say the least… So here I am, full in debt, working my ass to pay them.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

I need to go back to know that it was right to leave.

I need to go back to know that it was right to leave.

Everytime a friend goes home, I am saddened. Not just because I will be missing them but I envy the fact that they are finally home. For some certain reason, I have that burning yearning for home. It is as if, home is my final destination.

The feeling of need for home is as strong as the time when I needed to go out of my nest when I had an opportunity right after highschool. Idealism ruled my entirety. I was made to believe that my big dreams will be fulfilled in a big city, much bigger than what Bacolod could offer me. So I left and did what needs to be done. I don’t know if plans are on track or that dreams are fulfilled but I know that I wouldn’t do it the other way.

But I realized, that executing my big dreams in a big city will only give me a small fulfillment. Because success is not magnified, I would often feel as if, I am just one of those people, normal and insignificant. Not until I would achieve the lifestyle and ways of living my parents have given me with my own resources, I would not, in any way, feel that I have level-up-ed, or the very least, sustain the life I rejected to live in the big city.

Because that is where all this yearning, this need to go home comes from. I miss my life in the small city where everyone seems to be at awe with what you have achieved. Call it egotistical but sometimes you need a boost with morale. Here, I felt small, ordinary, a small fish in a big open sea.

Back home, small fish or not, I know that the sea is not big.
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